I haven't posted anything for such a long time. The guilt is starting to get to me. And maybe this isn't the ideal time to post anyway, my mental state and disposition being what they are. Ahh, the end of a very long, trying week. We've all had them; you know what I'm talking about.
On Monday, my son was hospitalized with "lung exacerbation", which involved an all-day clinic visit, x-rays, PFT's, and a rather interesting and enlightening (albeit lengthy) conversation with one of the most brilliant minds in medicine, in the world, in this (or in this past) century. The other people I had to deal with that day were not nearly as intriguing, pleasant, or friendly.
On Tuesday, I came to the realization that I will almost certainly have to drop out of my Master's program because I have such a slim chance of fulfilling the requirements by the deadline. This is not tragic, certainly, but does make me so sad, and leaves me feeling somewhat hopeless regarding my future possibilities for employment and earnings.
On Wednesday, I had a car accident with an MTC bus. I can't even begin to express how incredibly terrifying that was. My sleep has been pretty disturbed ever since. I trust it will get better.
On Friday, we had to have our old blue van towed off the freeway (well, actually an exit ramp off the freeway). Fortunately, we are practically family friends with our service station owner and his employees and they quickly repaired the van, so we're back to 3 vehicles.
The one thing I had looked forward to all week was Friday night supper. We were going to celebrate Emily's birthday, so she and Eric, along with Gina and Josh, newly home from their honeymoon, were all coming over. I wanted to be home at 5:30, the appointed time for eating. However, as I was leaving, I needed to check the copier at work, which was not running smoothly. Apparently, I took too long to unclog it, and arrived home while dinner was in progress. To add insult to injury (or maybe just more injury to injury), I was asked to complete the frosting for the cake, so I totally missed sitting with everyone and enjoying the conversations, if not the meal.
My week sucked. However, the real tradgedy here is that I have a friend whose week was actually worse. And I don't know if I really paid that the proper attention it deserved. I think I've spent too much time wallowing in self-pity. That's the truly depressing part of this week. Did I do anything positive this week? Did my presence contribute to anyone else's well-being? If so, it was probably accidental and by the grace of God.
So, I'm putting this week to bed. If I look back to it, it will be to remember how awful self-focus can make you feel. Whew. Feeling better already.
