Discipline

I decided I have to get back into the habit of posting on this blog site so I'm writing something even if I don't have anything much to write about. It's that whole idea of authors sitting with a blank piece of paper in their typewriters and disciplining themselves to write for a certain amount of time. Eventually they'll come up with something worthwhile. But don't expect that from me; I'm not an author.

Another thing that I do as a matter of discipline is go to work. Seriously, there's a whole new feel to ministry this year. I pretty much "force" myself to go to work; once I'm there, I know how to "run a program." I hate that I feel this way about my job right now. But I have HOPE that it won't always be this way. I'm slowly getting to know (and like) some of the kids. Same with my leaders. I admire the work some of them do, but I don't have a real relationship with most of them yet. I know these things take time. I'm not good at "schmoozing" (unlike a former colleague of mine), so being genuine just takes longer for people to get to know you. Plus I'm constantly assuring everyone (supervisors, pastor, etc.) that I'm not discouraged and I'm going to build a great youth program AND, being a "senior" staff-er, I'm mentoring the junior staff-er: these things take enormous energy. And, unlike in the past, I don't have people reassuring ME that I'm doing okay and that everything is going fine. Just a whole new situation.