On Giving Advice
I had a great weekend.
It started off Friday when I got to drive out to Morris for Kendrick's baseball game. Unfortunately, he didn't get in at all. Although I was hopeful when UMM was down by 10 in the top of the 7th; I figured they would start putting in some of their bench, since the game was pretty out of hand at that point. Well, what I didn't know, was that there is a 10- run rule in college... In a 9-inning game, if one team is 10 or more runs up after 7, the game is called. So I didn't get to see Kendrick play, but it was still fun to watch some baseball. And I got to see Kendrick briefly after the game. I enjoyed the time to myself... real freedom, no one to take care of, I could listen to anything I wanted on the radio, had time to think and pray... good company!
On Saturday, our Jr. and Sr. High youth did a service project together at Our Lady of Guadalupe church in St. Paul. We got a chance to work with some youth from their church also. The highlight for me was going to the Spanish Mass for one of the parishoner's quinceneros (how is this spelled??) celebration-- a kind-of "coming out" party for a 15-year old girl. The Mass was incredible. I loved listening to it in Spanish, hearing the responses (very cool that Dan was responding in Spanish), the music, the prayers, the readings... everything was so familiar, yet different enough to be more meaningful than usual. What a great experience.
Then today, the girls and I (minus Gina and Theresa), drove to Wabasso for Laura's shower. I know the small town, rural atmosphere felt odd to the girls, but it was very comfortable for me. I loved being back in that setting. Sometimes I really miss the farm. And experiencing the warmth and hospitality of Laura's friends and family stirred more memories for me. I love how the church is so involved in this special time for Matt and Laura. Having Helen introduce me to some of her life-long friends, or telling me the connections of the people who had given gifts to Laura was also cool-- so many were her friends from high school who still had connections through work, or being neighbors, or maybe a former teacher of Laura's . Everyone is so connected to each other out there. It's a wonderful thing. I remember that. My kids don't have the same concept of it. You really don't have a life-long connection going in the same way in the city/ suburb. People move out/ on. Sometimes you accidentally reconnect at some point in the future. Just different.
But the one thing that was awkward about the weekend (and hence the title for this post), was being asked to write some advice for Laura regarding marriage, etc. I'm always at a loss. Especially when you notice that other people are writing succinct, pithy, "valuable" things. How do you sum up all the important tips you could give someone regarding something as serious as marriage? I keep asking myself, "what do I wish I had known?" But of course, at the time, I thought I knew all I needed. And now, I realize I don't know enough to give the kind of advice that could save anyone from screwing up the most momentous, drastic thing you could ever do. So, what would be some good advice? Run? Full speed ahead? Eyes on the prize?
Comments welcome. I can pass them on to Laura (after trying them out myself).
It started off Friday when I got to drive out to Morris for Kendrick's baseball game. Unfortunately, he didn't get in at all. Although I was hopeful when UMM was down by 10 in the top of the 7th; I figured they would start putting in some of their bench, since the game was pretty out of hand at that point. Well, what I didn't know, was that there is a 10- run rule in college... In a 9-inning game, if one team is 10 or more runs up after 7, the game is called. So I didn't get to see Kendrick play, but it was still fun to watch some baseball. And I got to see Kendrick briefly after the game. I enjoyed the time to myself... real freedom, no one to take care of, I could listen to anything I wanted on the radio, had time to think and pray... good company!
On Saturday, our Jr. and Sr. High youth did a service project together at Our Lady of Guadalupe church in St. Paul. We got a chance to work with some youth from their church also. The highlight for me was going to the Spanish Mass for one of the parishoner's quinceneros (how is this spelled??) celebration-- a kind-of "coming out" party for a 15-year old girl. The Mass was incredible. I loved listening to it in Spanish, hearing the responses (very cool that Dan was responding in Spanish), the music, the prayers, the readings... everything was so familiar, yet different enough to be more meaningful than usual. What a great experience.
Then today, the girls and I (minus Gina and Theresa), drove to Wabasso for Laura's shower. I know the small town, rural atmosphere felt odd to the girls, but it was very comfortable for me. I loved being back in that setting. Sometimes I really miss the farm. And experiencing the warmth and hospitality of Laura's friends and family stirred more memories for me. I love how the church is so involved in this special time for Matt and Laura. Having Helen introduce me to some of her life-long friends, or telling me the connections of the people who had given gifts to Laura was also cool-- so many were her friends from high school who still had connections through work, or being neighbors, or maybe a former teacher of Laura's . Everyone is so connected to each other out there. It's a wonderful thing. I remember that. My kids don't have the same concept of it. You really don't have a life-long connection going in the same way in the city/ suburb. People move out/ on. Sometimes you accidentally reconnect at some point in the future. Just different.
But the one thing that was awkward about the weekend (and hence the title for this post), was being asked to write some advice for Laura regarding marriage, etc. I'm always at a loss. Especially when you notice that other people are writing succinct, pithy, "valuable" things. How do you sum up all the important tips you could give someone regarding something as serious as marriage? I keep asking myself, "what do I wish I had known?" But of course, at the time, I thought I knew all I needed. And now, I realize I don't know enough to give the kind of advice that could save anyone from screwing up the most momentous, drastic thing you could ever do. So, what would be some good advice? Run? Full speed ahead? Eyes on the prize?
Comments welcome. I can pass them on to Laura (after trying them out myself).
posted by CAL at
10:24 PM
10 Comments:
Whenever I don't know what to write I use "This too shall pass."
But not everyone finds that as all-purpose as I do.
For Josh and Gina I think I noted that it takes a lot of water to do severe structural damage, which has been very comforting to me over the past several years.
By
Anonymous, at 6:09 AM
I don't know that I'd appreciate "This too shall pass" given to us as wedding advice. What with the un-passing nature of the institution and all
By
Matthew B. Novak, at 3:18 PM
My actual "advice" was to the effect of "United we stand, divided we fall."
I'm just interested in anything that would be useful here.
By
CAL, at 9:55 PM
Yeah, I'd heard about your advice. Frankly, I think Maria gave the best advice out of anyone. Ask her for something good to say.
By
Matthew B. Novak, at 12:19 AM
what did she say?
By
empeterson, at 10:59 AM
if it was the petty sweaty stuff she got that from brittany warren so don't even give her credit.
By
empeterson, at 10:59 AM
Ok fine, I won't give her credit. Except she gets credit for knowing good material to steal.
By
Matthew B. Novak, at 4:34 PM
In all fairness now, Maria didn't steal any material. She properly sited her source.
I was really glad you were all able to make it to the shower - it meant a lot!
By
Ms. Guetter, at 11:53 AM
I read your blog. From time to time. More frequently when I'm in class and therefore bored. But write more. You can write about how awesome I am. That's a good topic. Or the wedding. I'm not sick of hearing about that yet.
By
Matthew B. Novak, at 3:25 PM
so uhhhh, ya ever gunna make a new post :)
By
Anonymous, at 1:43 PM
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