Waiting... and Guilt

I feel like my life these days is in a kind of holding pattern. I'm waiting for things to happen. I'm waiting for Gina and Josh to have their baby. I'm waiting for Lent to be over. I'm waiting for SOMETHING to happen to spark this ministry. At least I don't have to wait for the baseball season. Thank goodness for baseball. There's a real comfort in its steadiness. It brings to mind the James Earl Jones monologue from "Field of Dreams": "The one constant through it all has been baseball." So true.

I've been reflecting a lot lately on what's going on at Epiphany. For anyone not aware, both youth ministry positions have been posted on the job line. Looks like there will be another casualty of Epiphany Youth Ministry this year. I guess I have guilt. I feel responsible. In truth, I know I share the responsibility for what's going on now but, being ever the good Catholic, I feel guilty. I see my actions as hugely contributing to the present situation at Epiphany. And yet, I had to leave. I don't like to imagine what my life would look like today if I had stayed there. In many ways, life has gotten easier doing harder work at Pax Christi. And it just feels right. God is good.